Loaf

by Matt Freire

I was sitting back listening to me I myself unfold
And the unscrupulous acts of the day started to control the air
That festered around me and my ears became ensnared
And my brain became cloudy and the words started at me
Creeping through my pours the words began attacking me
And just exactly what bit me is a mystery
Infected it must be
Only remember it vaguely but
It gave me tetanus and rabies now I’m crazy
Foaming at the mouth what I spit isn’t gravy
But I would describe it obscure paisley bullets in the face
Burning like cyan pepper or a shot of sparkly mace
This is the beginning state to validate the hate
Here is a normal take on the rolling pin massacre ( a great)
Victim number one rapped up in duct tape
Wiggling around so his fingers I did masticate
I tried to lift this loaf but there was just too much weight
So I chopped off his legs an took off through the back gate
Bloody stump of a man hitchhiking on my back
He was still to heavy so his arms I did whack
Finally got home to some unknown flat
The appendage impaired with whining did attack
Found a rolling pin and his face I did smack
Now there’s no more whining scene after the crack
So I scanned around for something visually fat
Picked up a vase which visual lacked
A schmuck busted and said i have a gun
I called his bluff with the rolling pin I had some fun
Stuffed it in his mouth and used it as a clutch
Put it in reverses and made his face puss
And then I snatched his loaf
And dragged his soul to the kitchen
Used his hand to pug the drain
If he were conscious he’d be pissing
His feeble corpse I parked at the left sink
Testing to see how messy I can personally get thee
Turned the water on and I gave him a wink
Took a drink waited for the sink to hit its brink
Then it took a few seconds for the switch to be found
Flicked it on and hand was gone
On a little ride on a merry go round
Cracking sound could be heard as I walked out the door
I had to find someone else for me indulge in there gore

One pin two pin doe flattening you pin
I swing and you die let’s play again









Victim number three
I crept over to her place
And with my rolling pin I smashed it in her face
Stuck my finger in her blood and I gave it a little taste
Took her panty hose and I covered my face
I hog tied her up and dragged her to her fire place
Hair for kin ling you know it smelt great
Went to her bathroom and found a can hair spray
Went to her kitchen and found a can a raid
Went to the living room as I was singing a song
Fed the flame now her head is gone
Then I walked out the door because it smelt real bad
Her panty hose still on oh yah I started that fad
And to you listening to me think that I’m bad
I know I’m bad I put the “ah” in bad
I’ll make you sad and wish you were bad
Like this pyro lad
You’ll soon sport my fads
So just be glade
Or ill get made
And ill take a stab
And slice and jab
And spill your guts all over your coldesac
And I can do that
Because I am bad I’m the baddest of bad any dad could ever have
And that’s sad because I’m not that bad
Just when I’m constipated

So ya when I realized that I stopped
Went to the store to help my bowls drop
Shopping cart full of laxative
Box of prunes to make me more active
Soon reactive I’m going to clean out my digestive system
And I’m missin my empty digestive intermission
So I open a bottle and I tip it to my lips
Started chugging the liquid, which made me sic
A store clerk poked his face over like an anal tart
So I power bombed him into the shopping cart
Pushed him around on a speedy ride
Through the halls of food
Turned too sharp and the tart took a dive
Into the meat that still looks alive
The butcher behind the counter looked quite surprised
And like a ninja I took a dive over the counter and grabbed a knife
Did the Schwann song change and I bloodied his face
Took to the back door out of this place
Heard some sirens and I knew I would be on a chase
But not as the hound
But as the fox trying to find a safe place
This is a disgrace I yelled as I reached a bobbed wire gate
That’s behind the store
This might put a halter to my haste
Turned a round and a cop flashed his mug of a face
So I turned and did a Jacky Chan over the gate
And I spaced some distance from the badge me
And I saw an open window and that’s where I did flee
Ran frantic around the house till I reached the kitchen
And then I calmed down when I found out what I was missing
Snatched a rolling pin and took off to find a pin to roll
And then I started feeling light headed
I think the laxative is taking its toll
Couldn’t help my self and the
Whole of my bawls flooded to the floor
Just as the five o busted in
They found me with my feces and rolling pin on the floor

So now I’m sitting here in this penitentiary
With the story out they’re of my wrongdoing
They call me drain o down here and
Out there they call me rolling pin
I don’t really care
At least my bowels can freely move again